I’m very persistent when I want something and with people because i know when I give up that is it!
Accept me flaws and all and receive everything I’ve got to give
Can’t sleep, too many thoughts running through my head. Tryna figure out why you’ve distanced yourself so quickly after coming on strong and allowing me to fall for you.
I’ve witnessed and been through so much I still bear the scars emotionally, mentally, socially, I try forget about it and put it behind me but it always creeps up on me and brings me back down. I wake up some days as happy and grateful as can be .. other times the memories I try so hard to bury come to surface and brings me back to the past. The old me. The me that feels like a victim, the me that feels like I’ve done something to deserve everything I been through, the me that feels sorry for myself. The dark me. I’m grateful for being strong and overcoming everything I have been through. But these kind of days make it so hard for me. I envy the beautiful girls, the girls that get everything they want, the girls that haven’t been emotionally scarred. The girls that are beautiful inside and out. I try so hard to fit that description but I have been emotionally scarred and I can’t change that. Some days I fight with myself, I go back and forth tell myself to be like this and like that just to be socially accepted just to beat this lonely feeling, as much as I try I always find myself on the outside. Unwanted and invisible. I know that I’ve got alot of work to do. This journey is so hard. At first I noticed characteristics and traits that I liked about myself but times like now The memories of my past drag me back down to the old me the traits and characteristics I wish I never had. I’ve seen things a child shouldn’t have seen or felt. Now here I am the product of my past. The end result of what my past has defined me to be. Overcoming something doesn’t mean its the end. You still have to wake up in the morning remembering everything. Memories you wish you could never remember. Sometimes you will wake up grateful for not being in that place anymore other times you wake up feeling alone, scared, worthless, unwanted and with those feelings feeling like heavy boulders on your shoulders you carry on with your day while dragging those heavy boulders on your shoulders somehow I muster up the strength to do so, I stand corrected, not somehow with the help of God. These days really take a lot out of me I guess its all part of my journey to a better me.
Never sit on Tumblr and envy anyone, Be your own kind of beautiul. Be happy with you! If you don’t like it, Change it, Life is too short.
